Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Mommy Life is Like a Teeter Totter - Which side are you on?

Are you an unintentional stay-at-home mom?
Jennifer @ Something To Call My Own* wrote an article about how she became an unintentional stay-at-home mom.  I've thought long and hard about writing a similar article but in my head I always came off sounding like a bit of a jerk.  Selfish, self-absorbed, etc., etc.  I felt guilty about feeling like I needed to get back to work.  I felt guilty about all the time I spent in school just to be a mom.  OH and that phrase kills me - "just to be a mom".  There is no JUST about it. It isn't some inferior position that only lackies and the uneducated get stuck with.  Being a mom is a grueling, stressful, full-time job that requires you to know how to manage not only a household but people, conflict, education, money, cooking, shopping, being creative and keeping your sanity on top of it all.

When I found out I was pregnant with Cookie my full intention was to return to work when my maternity leave was over.  In the meantime, I moved farther away from my parents (and my office),  we were in a car accident that totaled my car and I discovered I was not able pump my breastmilk.  My body just wouldn't cooperate and I really didn't want to feed my baby formula when I had what nature intended for her to eat available.  I suggested telecommuting since I could get high speed internet at home, I had set up a VPN at work that I could access from anywhere and my job did not require me to be on site at all times.  The new manager said no way so that was the end of that.  Here I am these years later with two daughters.

Much like Jennifer I also came to realize that working outside the home was going to yield less than favorable results because all my income would have to go for childcare.  My parents were too far away to care for Cookie on a daily basis and my in-laws are too old.  My husband's family all have very full and busy lives that don't allow for them to be a full time babysitter, plus I didn't feel it would be fair for me to dump my child off on them.

Hubby and I have managed to make things work fairly well on one income.  We aren't as frivolous with our purchases as we once were.  We don't go out as much.  There are days when it really gets to me being trapped in the house, but I reason with myself that I am here to teach and raise my beautiful daughters.  I homeschool  Cookie and I plan to do the same with BonBon.

*Jennifer does a very good job of expressing how she feels in her article Something to call my own: Can I switch sides on the teeter totter? photo credit: limaoscarjuliet via photopin cc

1 comment:

  1. I honestly respect both stay-at-home moms AND working moms because both jobs have their fair share of difficulties and their fair share of benefits; regardless on what a woman chooses to do, that's HER choice.

    It sounds like even though you weren't able to go back as you had planned, things all worked themselves out in the end!


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